so what did i do this weekend?

, originally uploaded by pr9000.

I'm typing this with nine fingers, because one of the things I did this weekend was bang the ever-loving hell out of my left pinkie finger with a badly planned attempt to close an S hook that was about a foot over my head at the time ... not smart.

The rest of the weekend was spent planting an herb garden (here's a shot we took during one of the rare non-raining moments during the daylight hours) and putting in some sort of a crushed-rock-and-paver-stone path along the side of the garage. It entailed shoveling about a ton of gravel, tracking at least that much mud on the driveway and helping me to realize that I'm just not at all blessed with upper arm strength.

Of course, I could do something about it, but every time I do, the pain is so intense that I just drop it. Lather, rinse, repeat.

Parrot massages cat's head

This is just ... odd.

the future mayor of the ohio valley

the future mayor of the ohio valley, originally uploaded by pr9000.

you know it's true ... one day Ryan will head up the combined river towns of the Ohio Valley. Martins Wheelingportairesville.

what about friday night?

shoulda lit them candles

, originally uploaded by pr9000.

The rain is coming -- radar shows a line of showers that pretty much covers Tennessee, north to south -- and that's pretty emblematic of my mood this morning ...

I really surprised myself this week. I'm getting more busy by the day; The Big Man Upstairs is opening doors for me, and I'm realizing how much being busy sucks. Yesterday, for example, I had a morning client meeting; spent 45 minutes in the frame section of Hobby Lobby; ran to a tech client to help troubleshoot a recalcitrant server; ran back home to mow the grass before it reached knee level; did an interview with a local reporter -- quelle famous! -- and then ran back to the client to do battle with the server and the crappiest switch Dell has ever slapped its logo on ... Started at 8 a.m., ended at 10 p.m., which I know will seem like a normal day to all those readers who happen to be parents, but I don't have kids. I have a dog.

Who, by the way, got Chick-Fil-A chicken nuggets in his late-night dinner, because his father decided to drown his server woes in a chicken sandwich, extra pickles.

I'm not whining; I'm just stunned from yesterday, and the problems I had to battle with that server and switch, the first round of which I lost -- I was a -1 last night, but I hope to even it up this morning.

Chess Park Chairs

Chess Park Chairs, originally uploaded by pr9000.

For whatever reason, as I was walking Trotter last night and we hit the local park near us -- Chess Park, so named for the large chess pieces -- I had a thought:

You know, I really should be running.

Mind you, I was wearing my three-sizes-too-big camo shorts -- heretofore known as the Mystery Fat Guy Shorts -- and a pair of old running shoes that had been relegated to Honey-Do shoes, mainly because I needed shoes that I didn't mind getting all stained with grass or paint. They offer no arch support and basically exist to keep me from becoming a southern stereotype when in public.

So I started running. Of the 1.5-mile course that makes up our nightly Adventure Walks, I probably ran 60 percent of it, with a two-block walk in between to make sure that when I died of a heart attack, I'd be walking slowly when it happened, and thus my body would fall gracefully to the pavement. Less chance of scuffmarks, you see, as my motto has always been "Life very slowly and leave a good looking, slightly overweight, somewhat pimply corpse."

The run went well, but I remembered why I tend to exercise (if at all) before 7 p.m. -- I was wired. Awake. 12:30 rolled around and I had no desire to sleep. But I did, which was very restless and filled with bizarre dreams about ... well, I won't get into too much detail, but they weren't pleasant. I woke up cranky and sore, which I guess is a good thing, because if I'm ever going to win the Music City Marathon, I've got to start somewhere.

in which i show my unabashed childish love of ytmnd.com

I just want to scream -- How Could This Happen To Me?

STUNNED

here we go penguins, here we go

, originally uploaded by pr9000.

I know it's a photo from a Steelers game, but watching the Pens-Caps series has me remembering how much I really, really enjoy hockey -- even when it's not my team playing in the playoffs. I could watch Our Lady of Perpetual Motion's eighth grade girls hockey team play ... oh, I guess the Pittsburgh Pirates on skates.

And the girls would win, 6-5, in OT.

name: dr. bummer. bid: $69.

gerb 35mm fake

gerb 35mm fake, originally uploaded by pr9000.

So it's been almost a month since my last haircut, and I was beyond the "Hurts to Wear a Baseball Hat" phase, so I broke down and visited my local discount hair cuttery.

I should have known something was up when the woman who greeted me, and asked for my phone number, was someone I'd not seen before. But what the hey, I thought -- they're all trained professionals, and they note in my "account" on the computer what settings I like (number three, square in the back, thinned out on top, keep the sideburns). I decided to throw caution to the wind and sat down with "Dusty" (not her real name).

In the first two minutes, I learn
• Dusty's first customer today informed her that he hadn't showered in a week
• Dusty's got OCD problems, but don't worry -- she's on medication
• One of her OCD problems is with hygiene
• Dusty's got incredibly toned arms. Oh, and
• At one point in her life, Dusty saw a plastic surgeon and said "Give me the Dolly Parton Special."

Seriously – her boobs were like personal flotation devices. The rest of her body was like a teenage boy's: no real curves, nothing outwardly feminine. I call her "Dusty" in honor of this classic Aqua Teen Hunger Force episode.

Carl: I seen your billboard out on the interstate! You dance at the Wild Wild Chest!
Meatwad: You thinking of that girl down at Funbag Junction. That's Busty Bazookas.
Shake: I think you're talking about Nipple Hut.
Carl: Nah, you're thinking of Crotch Town.
Shake: Crotch Town?
Meatwad: Crotch Town?
Carl: Yeah, it's near Boob Burg but Boob Burg? Kinda weak.

I mean, that's classic television right there!

Anyway, Dusty was very nice and it turned out to be a cool haircut; she's got color-coded thingees for the clippers, and her thinning device is a razor with a comb over top. She just kind of combed my hair and boom! I lost five pounds of gray.

All in all, it was a very interesting experience.

Would you like to buy a monkey?

product of chrysler corp usa

product of chrysler corp usa, originally uploaded by pr9000.