why do i bother?

i tried to be mr. macho home guy again this weekend, and all it got me was lots of laughter from my wife ...

our front door blew off thursday. my father-in-law and i put up a storm door last year, and it was such a painful process that we never finished what, at the time, seemed to be an insignificant part: the plunger that keeps the door from flying open in a windstorm.

mistake.

eventually the door blew open too far one too many times, and pulled the ... wood ... thing ... it was attached to away from the door frame. i went to home depot -- i know, i know, big mistake -- and was, like, fourth in line for the only guy in the doors department to tell me how to fix it.

i mean, i know how to fix it -- 2 1/2" wood screws. they fix everything. but then you'd see the screws from the front of the house, and that's no good. the wood ... thing ... has these farked-up nails that are like magic nails -- you don't see them from the front of the wood, but they seem to grow out of the middle of the wood, and ...

i can't even describe them. i'm totally at a loss. it's as if they were injected into the unpained part of the board, but in a way that allows the sharp part to stick out and be ready to be nailed into the frame.

am i weak, or what? i'm sure there's a name for them. but damned if i know what it is.

anyway. i'll return to the depot of homes on a non-weekend evening and see if i can get some assistance.