where was this when i was in college?

i was a big abuser of the computer labs in college, primarily because i had an old tandy t-1000 that just sucked ass ... and once i got a glimpse of that funky new york font that magically made a half-page paper turn into a full page in word 5.1, well, i was hooked.

had i read this helpful article on the internet then, i might have gotten laid more. of course, there was no internet then -- not as we know it today -- so i doubt that it would have helped.

If you've spotted a girl in the lab who you think you'd like to "get to know better," the first thing you're going to want to do is try and look at what she's doing on the computer.

Don't.

This is not going to get you any points with her. I can't tell you how many times I've peeked over a random girl's shoulder in the lab and gotten slapped simply for saying, "What are you looking at?" or "Who are you writing an e-mail to?" or "You're looking at YahooNews? It's things like that that make me cry when I think about you while masturbating." Yeah, I don't know why that ticks them off either. Girls are weird.

They are.