did you know i have a private beach?
no, really! it runs the length of our property. of course, it does lead to a skanky drainage pond, but still ... it's mine and someday, given the insane prices for lakefront real estate in minnesota, people will be selling their grandmothers to get this prime piece of shore.
but today is not someday. today is, well, today, and the shore had been ignored all season. as nature is wont to do, it began to take back what man had claimed, by allowing all sorts of plants and green stuff to grow between the small pebbles. and since all of my neighbors here in suburban paradise have been diligent about policing the rampant growth ...
except me, and except for today.
i got me some kick-ass weed killer today, and even got serious about it by buying a pressure sprayer. i pulled all the weeds that had roots i could gather -- meaning, anything that isn't grass, because grass roots are just fucking tough -- and then sprayed within about five feet of the water, because i love the earth.
really.
well, there was one thicket of weeds that i could not get rid of, because as i pulled my first handful of roots out ... two frogs jumped out into the water. and i thought of those little frogs spending their lives homeless on the streets giving handjobs for crack.
so i left the frog neighborhood alone ... now the shoreline looks like st. louis -- barren nothingness for miles on end, and then, just when you're about to cross the border into someone else's area, a thick downtown ... that still smells like waste products.
you're welcome, frogs.
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