he did sport with her. twice. oh yeah.

the missus and i visited a used book store over the weekend, and had to be carried out, drooling, on a stretcher -- and we only spent $60. that's for, i think, 12 books and a box of postcards featuring art from and inspired by "the incredibles," so i think we did well.

it's hard to leave a bookstore without something. it's hard for me to leave bookstores in general. i remember, in my salad days in college, how damn smart bookstores made me feel. as if i were surrounded by a world of knowledge, and i was proving how cool i was by hanging out there.

anyway.

one of the books i picked up was the book of j, a new translation of what scholars say is the source of the torah, along with harold bloom's interpretation that "j" is a well-placed woman in a king's court, writing about a yahweh who is smart, sassy, jealous, intolerant and insecure.

the book is full of sex, which i guess i shouldn't be surprised by, as most o life is, even if we don't realize it. what's grabbing me is the large amount of sex and/or incest in the book, and some of the interesting and colorful language j uses to describe it act at times:

And it came to pass, when Isaac had been there a long time, that Abimelech king of the Philistines looked out at a window, and saw, and, behold, Isaac was sporting with Rebekah his wife. And Abimelech called Isaac, and said, Behold, of a surety she is thy wife: and how saidst thou, She is my sister?

and isaac did say unto abimelech, "because we dwelleth south of the mason-dixon line, that's whyeth."

and consider this, the story of how jacob gets to marry his wife, rachel:

And it came to pass in the evening, that [Laban -- father-in-law] took Leah his daughter, and brought her to Jacob; and he went in unto her.

imagine the porn possibilities ... "he went in unto her, and then did finish the deed all over the face and shoulders of her maid for an handmaid."

And Laban gave unto his daughter Leah Zilpah his maid for an handmaid. And it came to pass, that in the morning, behold, it was Leah: and he said to Laban, What is this thou hast done unto me? did not I serve with thee for Rachel? wherefore then hast thou beguiled me?

And Laban said, It must not be so done in our country, to give the younger before the firstborn. Fulfil her week, and we will give thee this also for the service which thou shalt serve with me yet seven other years. And Jacob did so, and fulfilled her week:

wait. hold on. jacob ... and his sister-in-law ... and he got a week ...

and he gave him Rachel his daughter to wife also. And Laban gave to Rachel his daughter Bilhah his handmaid to be her maid. And he went in also unto Rachel, and he loved also Rachel more than Leah, and served with him yet seven other years.

so jacob got to sleep with leah, who had gorgeous eyes (so sayeth the book of j), but only for a week -- his honeymoon week, mind you -- and then got to sleep with rachel, into whom he also went in ... to ... uh, wait. that should be "into that which he" ... you get the idea.

either way, it took jacob 14 years to work off that nookie. that's a long damn time to pay for sex, though if one were to look at it in contemporary times, entering into thine sister-in-law -- BEFORE entering into thine wife ... well, i'd probably take 14 years of indentured servitude over the cost of that divorce.