"the interpretation of dreams is the royal road to a knowledge of the unconscious activities of the mind." -- sigmund freud
there is nothing more obnoxious than a quote to lead off a piece of writing.
but ... i included this only because i woke from a deep sleep trying to remember what freud said about dreams and a road. it made me get up early and hit google to find it.
i like to talk about my dreams, because i think my dreams are interesting. i think everyone's dreams are interesting. they say a lot, and even if you're not bowing at the feet of siggy freud, they still are fascinating, precisely because very few people dream about real-life things in real-life ways. there's always a bit of fascination in there.
i had a dream two nights ago ... what's funny about this dream is that i've had it before, or i've had a version of it before, many times. not too unusual -- anxiety dreams are usually variations on a theme. gotta run for the schoolbus but can't find your shoes; late for a meeting and can't find the room ... this is the same dream, over and over.
i have a recurring dream that i'm visiting with my grandma Ruth, who passed away in (i think) 1986. she died of breast cancer that, i think -- we never talk much about this -- she detected but didn't do anything about until it was too late.
in this dream, grandma ruth isn't dead. she's alive, but i always don't remember and am amazed that she's alive. then we spend a long time visiting, reminiscing and having a splendid time. it's the warmest, most amazing feeling.
but this time, the dream was a bit different. it followed the same scenario, but at some point in the dream, i asked her "but didn't you ... die?" i questioned her on the funeral -- what happened, why she faked it. she didn't really have good answers, or at least answers i can remember. i woke up shortly thereafter.
not too long after she passed away, i had the most horrible nightmare i've ever had. we were all sitting in the kitchen in her house, talking with my grandfather.
during grandma's last days, they brought her home, set up a bed in the living room, which was just opposite the kitchen. you couldn't see in the living room from the kitchen -- there is a single entrance you pass through to get there.
anyway, in the dream we're all sitting in the kitchen with my grandfather, and suddenly we hear grandma's voice from the living room. one by one, she calls for us, and we get up and go in to see her.
all except for me. i'm sitting at the kitchen table, and i can hear everyone laughing with her and being happy, and she calls for me. but i didn't get up. i just sit there. she calls and calls and tells me to come in and talk. and i can't. i run out the door and ...
well, that's when the dream ends. it frightened me so that to this day, almost 20 years later, i can remember it vividly, even if i can't describe it accurately in this post. :)
